Learning is ingrained in our essence, an ever-present process. It’s inherently tied to relationships, reflecting our journey as inherently social creatures. We yearn for connections.
At our core, as humans, lies the impulse to connect. Our smiles spark responses, teaching us the art of interaction. We yearn for these connections, as they are the lifeblood of our existence.
If learning is a constant process, then it implies that we learn in every situation. We learn whether things are easy, impossible, denied to us, or swept under the rug.
Throughout our lives, we accumulate a vast array of experiences. These experiences serve as a reservoir from which we draw, forming the foundation for our future decisions.
We should become aware of the power we hold, especially as parents, because children absorb knowledge like a sponge. And it’s not just about what we present to them, hoping they’ll remember, but more so, they learn the „how.“
We, the adults, determine the quality of learning.
We shape and color the experiences our children have. Whether they feel seen and heard, whether they are shamed or judged, whether they are coerced or allowed to learn voluntarily. Whether they are accepted as they are or pressured to be different.
Each time we cross their boundaries, they learn that it’s acceptable to cross boundaries. This also applies when we overstep our own limits.
Whenever we shame them, they internalize the notion that shaming others is normal.
In situations where they are evaluated based on their abilities or achievements, they learn to tie their self-worth to their performance, potentially laying the groundwork for burnout and depression.
The greatest power for change that children bring is their desire to discover who we are. They are the catalyst that prompts us to evolve.
This is precisely why parents often reach their limits with their children: because children mercilessly expose where we, the adults, are „not yet ourselves“ or „deny ourselves something.“ Or where we hide ourselves or something from the world.
We’ve all experienced it, and we’re here to break the cycle.
This means, above all, taking care of our own relationship experiences. It’s about becoming aware of them and examining them closely. It’s about honestly assessing whether something still serves us or not. Whether our relationships feel as they should or not. Whether we truly want to live this way or not.
Every day, we have the choice to step back and open ourselves to new possibilities. We can relearn each relationship, shaping it into one that allows both us and our counterparts to flourish.
And if we don’t succeed, we can be kind to ourselves. There is no end goal. We are not perfect. We are human.
And we are here to gain experiences.
Let’s enable learning in healthy and uplifting relationships.
Because learning always happens.
